For the first time in my whole life, I see my grandmother bawling her eyes out.
Must be quite painful for her to send her daughter off to the hospital,knowing the fact that she will be leaving this world anytime right now. I think my mother suffer the most because she has to settle the hospital stuffs for my aunt, which means she will be the last person to bid goodbye to my aunt.
I'm not good with goodbyes. I actually went to hide in a room when they are leaving the house. What a coward.
My heart aches super badly when I see my grandmother cry. She didn't cry when my uncle or my grandpa passed away.
What a strong woman she is.
How useless I felt when the only thing I can do is to hug her while she was weeping. The guilt or whatever crappy feeling it is, is killing my so damn badly when she was in my arms.
I want to cry too. I need a hug too. But I have to be strong for my mother. Don't cry don't cry don't cry. Suck it up.

Once I go back to Singapore, my granny will be left alone in this huge house. What will happen to her. She doesn't know the way to the hospital, she can't visit my aunt. How much over thinking she is gonna do before she gets consumed by them and breaks down again. I won't be here for her. She doesn't want to follow us to Singapore as she fear that nobody will be in Penang to receive the news of the death of my aunt(if it happens *touch woo*).
So much thoughts sprinting through my mind.